K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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