I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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