That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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