Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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