She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
