Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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