Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
