It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
this boner is exhausting
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
