Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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