I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
