Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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