There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
