One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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