so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize