Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I can text with my tongue
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
