Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
