You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
