YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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