i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
