So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
