the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
