Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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