maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
