the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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