You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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