You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
