? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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