If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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