just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize