i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
