it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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