You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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