You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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