.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
