3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
