i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Jerry, you need to find god
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
