ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
