I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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