Buhtt sex?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize