Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
