I need help removing her.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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