omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
