I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
