just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just invented taco cereal.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
