he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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