You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
