well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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