i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My vagina is officially offended.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
