Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize