the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize