i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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