i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
