idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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