no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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