Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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