Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
