Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
