oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
