We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
