Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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