Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
