Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize