what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
