bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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