you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
