i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You've changed since you got that strap on
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
