so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
