An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize