You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
