His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
