Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
