I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
sex in a hospital.. check
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
