you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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