Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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