So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
