she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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