We're facebook friends in real life
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
