Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
