it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
