Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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