I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
