no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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