my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize