gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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