good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
