i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
