i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
