I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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